Humorous Poems on the Dismal Science of Economics and the Dismaler Art of Politics
Pages
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A Toast
As we take leave of 2009:
Before we get aulder,
And fatter and balder,
May all of our debts be lang syne.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A Deduction of Interest
Saw the market up twenty percent;
He concluded: "Give thanks
To the Fed. Reserve Banks
For how cheaply on margin is lent."
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Painful Adjustment
But over time, says the Journal, they've crept ahead;
Controlled for inflation,
Your wealth aggregation's
Been running to keep just two steps ahead.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Happy Holidays from California
Some state workers observed Boxing Day;
No, they weren't Anglicized
But simply realized
You can't work if the state cannot pay.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Night before Christmas
And o'er Wall Street they looked for a sign:
A star to portend
When, in 2010,
The bull and the bear would align.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Before They Get Too Big To Fail Again
Says, "To cut risk, revise this Tax Rule:
Strike the interest deduction -
You'll get a reduction
In leverage, as we learned in B-school."
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Concentrated Thinking
"That, pre-crash, the top 20 banks had,
of all assets, three fourths;
Post-crisis, of course,
It's seventeen twentieths instead."
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Hoped-For Snowball Effect
If we get in a jam,
Our dear Uncle Sam
Will schuss down the ski trail and bail."
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Answers in the Stars
Found new life in the field of astronomy
He discovered black holes
Could play useful roles
In explaining our vanishing solvency.
Friday, December 18, 2009
The Senator Accuses, The Fed Chairman Muses
"What a grilling I'm getting from Bunning!
At least," he sighed, squirming,
"They'll soon be confirming,
When Bunning is done with his gunning."
Thursday, December 17, 2009
NYU Economist: P.O.Y. Not Me?
Not the P.O.Y. touted by Time.
Sure, Bernanke's aggression
Averted depression,
But the chance for prevention passed by 'im!"
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A Golden Bear
"Remain high if loan rates remain teeny.
But without that cheap cash,
Your bullion will crash,
Like an out-of-control Lamborghini."
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Your Bank's in the Tank
Dr. Nouriel Roubini says mordantly;
"CDOs o'er the brink
Left a pool of red ink,
For which banks lack the capital absorbency."
Monday, December 14, 2009
A Growling Bear
"Tim Geithner, put down that martini!
This economy's tough,
You've not goosed it enough;
Your green shoots may become dead branzini!"
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Prime that Pump
Is an adequate fiscal response;
As much unbridled vigor
As a college frat kegger,
Not like tea with your elderly aunts.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Barney Triumphant
To each hedge fund, investor and bank,
"When my purview's systemic,
No more risk epidemic
There'll be, and you'll have me to thank."
Friday, December 11, 2009
Taking Stock
Hopes they've blunted the Ken Feinberg axe;
Their new equity bonus,
With apparent risk onus,
May politically unburden their backs.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Trade Deficit Success Story #17
Made a ginseng-infused aperitif;
It became the "in" thing
In the clubs of Beijing,
And prevented a brewing trade beef.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Trade Deficit Success Story # 32
Became nouveau-riche patent claimants,
With an SUV line
That ran on rice wine,
They went green and re-balanced our payments.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Eureka!
An economist, sure of his talents,
Exclaimed: "I can right the trade balance!
My ingenious invention's
To fund Chinese pensions;
Thus secured, they'll buy Jeeps and Impalas."
Monday, December 7, 2009
Let Them Eat Cake
Says, "How wicked our corporate ways are;
They'll end up, I bet,
As Marie Antoinette,
And her mate, King of France Louis Seize, are!"
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Legislative Branch Wants Oversight (or is that Insight?)
But now Congress is jealous and wants in.
Says Bernanke, "Your ilk
Would turn up a kilt
To see what girds the loins of the Scotsman!"
Friday, December 4, 2009
War Economics of the Ancient World
His accountess reported to Croesus:
"To raise arms you've a million gold pieces."
Replied Croesus, "I dig your
Callipygian figure;
Now let's subjugate everywhere Greece is!"
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Chairman Bernanke's Testimony at his Reconfirmation Hearing
"True, I did not foresee this catastrophe,
But since then I've done all that's been asked of me;
Now, should I take the blame
For Him I'll Not Name,
Whose baton was, four years ago, passed to me?"
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
How to Prick the Next Asset Bubble
Has a game plan when prices get bubbly:
Excessive debt funding
Should trigger a plunge in
Advance rates, thus un-bubbling subtly.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Something to Chew On
Of US kids, border to border,
Food stamps now buy the lunch of one quarter.
You may find this obscene,
But that's just the mean;
It's one third in Alaska and Florida.
Bring Back the WPA
Paul Krugman, scratching his chin,
Says: "Let's give Federal hiring a spin.
With a weak private sector
Ill-equipped to correct 'er,
Unemployment is bound to set in."
Monday, November 30, 2009
A Veiled Threat
"You've developed a very dear hobby.
For your real estate wreck
Don't expect a blank check -
You belong to me now, Kemo Sabe."
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Too Big to Veil
"That our property market's run dry.
For a bailout we'll lobby
Our friend Abu Dhabi -
If we sell, the Emir has Dubai."
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Holiday Season Begins
Is Black Friday concluding successfully?
While economists fret,
"We're already in debt;
This business plan doesn't make sense to me!"
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The First Thanksgiving
Who taught them to cultivate maize.
"You're welcome," said Squanto,
"Have more if you want to -
It's preferred to la cuisine anglaise."
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A Case for FEMA?
Now reside in abodes under water.
In the last mortgage bubble
Some did not take the trouble
To review the fine print, as one oughter.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Beijing Bluster
"Stop allowing the dollar to plummet!
In Beijing we've got trouble
Because of the bubble
You've blown with loose money, dadgummit!"
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Takeover Italian Style
"Signore, let's proceed più lento,
At Chrysler we've laid
Careful plans to upgrade
Their 300 to our Cinquecento."
Friday, November 6, 2009
Interest Rate Parity
Warns," The Federal funds rate is anomalous.
Given money supply,
Payrolls and CPI,
Why not sub-zero loan rates for all of us?"
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Après moi, le stimulus
"The success of job stimulus plans?
Après le déluge,
Not just 'jobs in the bush,'
One must keep those one has in one's hands."
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Who Do You Blame?
Big names are expected to work it
At the risk of suspicion
Many take a position
Assuming they later can shirk it.
- or -
By now it's abundantly clear
Under Washington's culture of fear
Some political hacks
Hid their sneaky attacks
While they ran up more debt every year.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
An Alleged Violation of the Securities Act of 1934
To the geeks at his hedge fund in Gotham.
But a Galleon tipper
Informed on her skipper;
Crowed the SEC: "Ha! Now we've gotten 'im!"
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Financial Market Reform
Present free marketeers with a trade-off:
Markets need innovation,
But so too, regulation
That's neither deaf, dumb, blind nor paid off.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The New Economics
As the national debt caroms higher.
But though it seems stranger,
Deflation's the danger,
Of a lackluster cash multiplier.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Money Supply
"The debt crisis still has lots of bite in 'er.
Though it may cause some ranklin',
We'll print lots more Franklins;
Let's loosen our money, not tighten 'er!"