The economy's new focus is Jobs
(That's Steve - not you poor working slobs),
Who's enthralled every geek
With a tablet so sleek
Without keys, buttons, trackballs or knobs.
It's confirmed, though many were doubting:
The Fed Chair gets one more four-year outing -
Though the thought of Bernanke
Makes many so cranky,
Both socialists and Birchers are pouting.
To the Fed Open Market Committee,
The economy still isn't pretty; When the job market's strong, They'll sing a new song, But for now, it's the same low-rate ditty.
Said the President, wagging a finger, "Unemployment no longer may linger. So, to send a jobs bill To my desk from the Hill Is the task of each left- and right-winger."
"Look upon me and be jealous,"
Says Brazil's central banker, Meirelles;
"Down here in the South,
We don't live hand to mouth -
We're net dollar creditors, fellas."
Paul Volcker, grimacing glumly,
Says, "You banks should behave yourselves humbly.
While taking TARP funding,
Please put aside plund'ring,
And paying your people so plumly."
An earthquake that bruises and batters
Left Haiti in ruins and tatters,
So this is the time,
In prose and in rhyme,
For the economics that really matters.
A chap of the financial punditry
Noticed Latvia's falling fecundity;
Seems the nation's net worth
Correlates with live births,
Wherein lie the seeds of profundity.
Post-disaster, development flashes
Where the vision, desire and cash is;
Now, what will it take
When they've cleaned up the quake,
So that Haiti can rise from the ashes?
If his Senate confirmation's postponed,
Then Bernanke is out on his own;
So who'll run the joint?
That's really the point:
The Head of the Fed will be Kohn.
Bernie Madoff, ensconced in the can,
With many a rapturous new fan,
When asked to explain
His felonious reign,
Said, "I count on the ignorance of man."
Thanks to Ms. Ann Gianchandani of Frigate Bay, St. Kitts, for today's keyword: "the ignorance of man."
Said Bernanke to Geithner, "I'm phonin' in
To say profits from TARP keep on rollin' in;
Here's 46 billion."
Said Tim, "Thanks a million! So tell me: is Uncle Sam whole agin?"
Jim Cramer, in mid-bloviation,
Once touted Bear Stearns' valuation;
That bet soon went bad,
Which made many so mad
That they threatened Jim's defenestration.
Thanks to Lora Hinson Fredericksen of Charlotte NC for today's keyword!
A Wall Street CEO delegation
Faced a government investigation;
The committee averred,
"If we take your own word,
You sold faulty pre-owned transportation."
In Shanghai, Beijing and Chengdu,
There's a ride for each Tang, Deng and Hu;
No more the old order -
The world's top exporter
Is the world's biggest car market, too.
"To grow jobs," Larry Summers explains,
"One must tolerate some fiscal strains;
Those tender green seedlings
Need less Milton Friedman,
And a little more John Maynard Keynes."
Larry Summers admits: "I recall,
We were still losing jobs in the Fall;
Mid the Wintery snows,
Job hemorrhaging slows -
We'll have growth in the Spring (if at all)."
"Your house," says the Fed's Karen Pence, "As an investment, makes little sense; With your eggs in one basket, You can't really ask it To play a bear market defense."
Said the skinflint economist, Betts,
"To the conference we'll send our regrets."
Said her mate, "What's the reason?
The rates are off-season."
Said Betts: "If they'll pay for it, let's."
Not to traffic with health reform cynics,
But the US needs more than just gimmicks;
We must also address
Why our health's in distress -
What we lack's not just access to clinics.
(Tip of the hat to Brett Hellerman of Norfolk Markets for his monthly commentary)
Said Bernanke, "It's not of my station
To answer for asset inflation;
Though I may let rates double
To burst the next bubble,
The real cause is lax regulation."
In the "Lost Decade" of the Aughts,
Some detected the dark hand of plots;
How else to explain
Our division in twain,
To a nation of haves and have-nots?
French consumers are now rather fond
Of the laws of supply and demande;
With wealth so deflating,
There's less celebrating,
Thus lowering the price of Champagne.
The Aughts, one can say with veracity,
Were a decade of financial laxity,
Which is what you will get
If you go into debt
Without building productive capacity.