Border Dispute

Vexed that border enforcement moved glacially,
Arizona proofed aliens facially,
Which was blocked by the Feds,
Who objected, they said,
To the specter of profiling racially.

The Blagojevich Tape You Didn't Hear

"A seat in the Senate is golden,  
And won't go to the first guy who strolled in;  

It's got to be earned  

By the highest return -  

For the Public, to whom I'm beholden."

Random Mortgage Musing

One's own home, the American Dream
Was held in the highest esteem;
In support of this end,  
We came to depend  
On many a dubious scheme.

Let's Deleverage First

The analysts watching obsessively 
For consumers to spend more aggressively 
May sometimes forget 
We've got most of the debt 
That we borrowed and spent so excessively.

Ken's Reluctant Conclusion

"Wall Street," said Feinberg, the Pay Czar,
"Inadvisable though its displays are,
 Didn't break any laws
Merely because
Of how great its renum'rative ways are."

Keynesian Smackdown

Said Paul Krugman: "Bernanke, you wannabe -  

There's a hundred of you, and just one o' me;  

Now you've set rates so low  

That we've nowhere to go  

But to try to reflate the economy."

Unemployment Claims

A factory foreman named Dwyer,
Who was looking for helpers to hire,
Proclaimed: "I'm annoyed
With the long-unemployed -
They stay home 'til their benefits expire."

Said an unemployed shrimper named Gump:
"I don't like sitting home on my rump,
But the pay that they offer
Is never enough, for
I feel I've been played for a chump."

A Brazilian Banker's Confession

"I'm no socialist, as you may note,
But the Workers should win the next vote;
Since it turned out that Lula
Is such a good rula,
It's working, so why rock the boat?"

Forint Affairs

Those liquidity problems  of Hungary's
Shook the Eurocrats down to their dungarees;
Said the IMF head:
"Zees 'ungarian dread
Ees more fright'ning than George Bush ze younger ees."

Inception

Risk management has a routine
To anticipate drift from the mean,
But wise risk advisors
May dream of surprises
Unimagined, unknown, unforeseen.

Financial Reform Bill

Now the Senate has passed legislation
To invigorate bank regulation,
But left many a crater
To be filled in later,
As lobbyists learned with elation.   



Reform's really only been bracketed
So Dodd and Frank soon must be back at it,
And the agencies' staff
Write the more-detailed half,
So the lobbyists still get a crack at it.

The Tao of Banking

"We're flush," said China's AgBank, 
"And the US consumer's to thank, 
But sustainable lending 
Needs more Chinese spending, 
To balance the Yuan and the Yank."

Consumer Credit Inquiry

With credit card balances trending 
Somewhat lower than prior months' ending, 
The question arose 
Whether anyone knows: 
Is the fall-off in borrowing, or lending?

Overheard at the ECB

"Messieurs, I've developed a test
To determine if banks are too stressed;
It's been rig'rously checked
To be mild in effect,
So of course, it's politically blessed."

World Cup Edition III

An astute statistician from Grantham 
Electrified footballing fandom, 
When he published a shocker 
That the points scored in soccer 
Were so low that the outcomes were random.  


Thanks to Richard Bookstaber for his analysis of sports score optimization in the Wall Street Journal, and congratulations to the Spanish supporters among you, whose celebrations are no doubt richly deserved. 

Whither the King?

U.S. growth was once buoyant and bubbly,
And by turns became dismal and ugly;
Now the world's in suspense,
As it's poised on the fence
'Twixt resurging, or bottoming doubly.

World Cup Edition II

Said Suarez: "Don't call me a cheat  
For defending with hands and not feet;
Though the ref may eject,
Uruguayans expect
I'll snatch victory from jaws of defeat."

World Cup Edition I

Maradona called all Argentinians
To cheer for his footballing minions:
"We're depending upon ya
To beat Alemania!"
But the Germans had other opinions.